There's no static label or category that would describe the
experience that more than 1 single human being on the planet has had.
I wouldn't say "I'm proud to be an American" nor "I'm proud to be
African American" or anything like that. I'm no more proud to have had
ancestors forced from their home land into bondage than I am to have
ancestors who fought and created a new culture that is bitten by
everyone in the world as a result of being forced from their homeland
into bondage. I don't feel that this is anything to be proud of. My
experience on Earth is no more or less great than anyone else's. In
fact, considering the short amount of time I'll be on this planet
(relative to the existence of the planet), I don't find it useful to
gain pride in the contextual elements of my physical body. If I will be
proud, it will be of my participation in a Universe that is constantly
moving and changing. It would be in my own experience that is constantly
moving and changing; an experience that is unique from that of every other
human who shares my skin shade, nose width, hair texture, or
reproductive characteristics. Were I to die tomorrow and return in another
dimension as a creature that looks or behaves completely differently, would I be less than I am now? Of course not. I am still a part of the
ever changing dynamic Universe that takes form in order to selfishly
experience itself through itself.
But am I not what others
consider African-American-Woman? To them, I am.
But when I awaken from my dream, I am none of these things. I am
whatever my dream sees. Sometimes, I am a man. Sometimes, I am the
blackest, thickest, tallest woman in the world. Sometimes, I am an all
seeing eye, observing the interactions of mind, heart and body that my
mind imagined in its waking state. I know that because of this view
others have of my finite physical body, my person may be more or less
safe in certain areas. To care is the beginning of insanity.
I
walk as though I have somewhere to go. I create as though I have no
limits. I speak as though I am not afraid. I smile as though I know that
this is all bullshit. I make friends as though friendship is easy. I
eat as though I intend to taste the greatest combination of sweets and
savories that tickle all the parts of my tongue and mind. This is not a
black experience. This is a living experience.
And as a living being, I
will fight for the rights of other living beings to exercise their creativity freely
in a world where they are viewed as less-than by others who are deluded
and sick. I will not join forces with the sickly ones simply because
they have shinier stuff. It is their shiny shit that they must create in
order to prove their superiority to themselves. The Earth has provided
us all we need. What use is shiny shit? Are we so detached from reality as to neglect
clean water and air in favor of shiny shit? Have we lost our ever loving
minds?
And as people of color discover their power, if they should become
oppressors, I will fight them as well. This is not a battle for power.
This is an insistence on creativity. Any force that aims to limit my
creativity or the creativity of any other living being on this planet is a
violatory force and I will not support it no matter what it looks like
or who it considers kin. Believe that shit.
And believe that if
the creativity comes from a black American versus an African versus a
Chinese English versus an African Caribbean versus a foster child versus
a child raised in a blended family versus one who grew up wealthy
versus one who grew up in the projects...these differences matter and
should not be dismissed. This is a new form of art that we know nothing
about. This will give us another opportunity to either learn or retreat
further into denial. We will never know every experience. There is no
category that we can align ourselves with that will represent any of us all of
the time. If we want our story told, we must tell it and no matter how
unique, it will connect with every human experience if it is authentic
and honest. And if we must categorize things in order to wrap our puny
minds around them, then we will categorize. But if we understand the
dynamic and constantly moving creative experience of the Universe, then
we participate in the constant opportunity to change with it. If we have
a problem, we fix it! If we don't, then we shut the fuck up and have an
orgasm with somebody because this will all be over soon enough!!!
Love,
Blue
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