Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Problem with Men

You know what's wrong with you men? Ok. I'll tell you:
You think that because you find someone appealing, they're supposed to be interested in meeting you. WRONG! WRONG! You might be ugly as hell and nobody wants to look at your face. If you want someone to find you appealing, you have to BE appealing to THEM. Not just find them appealing.
Know what else is wrong with you men? Ok. I'll tell you:
You think women give a shit what you look like. Look: women are perfectly fine having a poster of Djimon Hounsou on their bedroom wall and masturbating to it every night. We're so good with the mentals that we can create an entire fictitious relationship that keeps us absolutely content for the rest of our lives. In fact, unless you look like Djimon Hounsou or Dwayne The Rock Johnson, you will never live up to our standards of beauty, so forget about it. Outside of our vivid imaginations, women respond to how someone makes us feel. But in order to make a woman feel good, you have to observe that woman and what she responds to. This takes time and intention. Every woman is different...just like every man is different. And you have to actually appreciate the woman for who she is. Then, you can give her exactly what she wants and she will love you in return.
And you know what's REAAAAALLLY wrong with you men? Ok. I'll tell you:
You think that you can just talk your way into the panties. Look: if you can talk your way into panties, then you're gonna be in a ho's panties. And if you get a ho, don't be all on facebook complaining about women this and women that. Tell it like it is: hos this and hos that. Stop comparing women to hos and stop thinking that just because you don't know the difference, all women are hos. If you want a real good woman who's going to cook and clean and birth your babies barefoot in the kitchen all by herself, then cut the umbilical chord and clean up the mess herself, then you need to cook, clean, and be prepared to raise, educate, finance, and protect your family while you're holding her from the back and massaging her feet as she births them chilluns. Then, build a deck, patch the roof, cut the grass, clean the basement, and take her to Jamaica once a year.
If you want a life partner, you have to be a life partner. If you want hos, you need to get your pimp game right. Half assing either of these will leave you alone and in the cold complaining about hos on facebook, then getting "likes" by more hos that you have no idea what to do with.

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