Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Knock Knock! Who's There? Black Revolutionary!

I went to listen to a speech by a Black Revolutionary last week. He was someone who I'd heard speak before. I asked him how he defined success. He gave a fuzzy answer, but I deduced that his goal was "self determination."

I wondered to myself: If self-determination for the Black community is your definition of success, why are you traveling the country talking to white folks? Why is every "action" a retaliation to something? Is proactivity, creation, and imagination possible? Can Black people be liberated in ways that aren't knee deep in frustration, violence, and questionable inclusion criteria?

Many Black Revolutionaries want change, but don't exactly have a solution that the people can sink their teeth into. Fuzzy answers like "self determination" and "Black Liberation" are fun and make people feel warm inside, but they're not a place you can go to eat. As a result, a few young people may rally and protest, but without a hearty goal, they lose interest in "the revolution", get spellbound by the shiny things and bright colors of capitalism and then BAM!... the movement's over. Being a Black Revolutionary gets reduced to a phase in college and a way to get laid...as long as you're not gay because no gays are allowed in the Revolution...and if you're a woman and you're not having babies, you're practically useless.

In an effort to introduce goal orientation to the revolution, I have been studying ways to overcome and have comprised the following list of cultural possibilities based on models that work.

1. The Amish: House your entire culture under a religion that cannot be touched by government or capitalism. This means that you will have to separate yourselves from the rest of the culture and live by well thought out rules that can sustain families over the next 200 years, 4 generations, or whichever comes first. Make sure that you handle all conflicts internally and in cases of domestic abuse, keep it on the hush hush. It's part of the culture.

2. The Chinese: Expatriate and turn your enclaves into thriving business centers by working, living, and worshiping only with each other. This means you have to make your own shoes, clothes, food, own your own property, and be so intentional in the building and sustaining of your enclave that no outsider could or would even want to penetrate until the population thins out as a result of integration or repatriation. The ultimate goal will be to achieve the Black Dream, promote a positive worldview of Africa, and eventually return to Africa to assist in the sustaining of infrastructure throughout the continent. You can also forge coalitions with other cultures so that the children of China and Indonesia can continue to make your T-shirts.

3. Native Americans: Decide exactly who fits in your group and get funds together to change policy as it concerns those chosen few. This means that fuzzy notions of Blackness are no longer tolerated and you will have to prove how Black you are by tribal affiliation and family lineage. If you end up on the outside looking in, you can't be mad. You simply weren't Black enough. Try again later in the grad chapter.

4. The Mexicans: Buy up 5 or 6 houses on a block and move everybody's families into them. Then, operate much like the Chinese, only interacting with non-Mexicans to the extent that it benefits your entire block.

5. The Patriots: marry lighter in order to increase your social status among whites and encourage your brown children to do the same until your family is full of white people. Then you'll be completely integrated and perfectly suitable for the inculcation of an American Dream. Luckily, by the time your white great-great-grandchildren discover that America is a plantation run by corporations, you'll be long gone and won't have to deal with your human rights being violated in the name of progress.

6. Strategize, form a coup, and overthrow the government. Then, the nation will be yours. It's good to have a followup plan because a government with no plan is short lived. Be advised that if anybody owns or runs a government, they're gonna need workers. Many of whom won't like their jobs. Jealousy will ensue because everyone won't be self actualized. Oppression will follow.

7. Don't be the struggle. Be the change. Society is fucked up because people are fucked up. Be one less fucked up individual.

In short, piss or get off the pot.

Thug Life,
Black Blue

Appendix 1: Many Black Revolutionaries have shifted their fight from a fight for Black Liberation to a fight for the liberation of all oppressed groups throughout the world: including gays and women. In my opinion, these people have evolved.

Appendix 2: Many Black Revolutionaries are afraid to express their values in mixed company...values like family hierarchy, anti-gay sentiment, and closeted capitalism. If this is your story, stop being a pussy and you might achieve your goals. Liberated women and gays aren't trying to be your friend. Stop being paranoid and be who you are. Then live in peace with everyone because you're actually getting what you want in life and you don't have to oppress others in order to do so.

Appendix 3: Yet other Black Revolutionaries are trying to convince the world that race doesn't matter. If race doesn't matter, stop calling yourself Black and claim your country of origin. You can find your ancestral roots with a little DNA for a little bit of cash...but of course, it all depends on how important that is to you. If you want to hold on to "slave" as your ancestry, that's your business, but know: slaves don't own shit. Free people do. And free people don't need your approval.

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