Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Who the fuck is Craig?

Common scenario:

Lisa: "Why haven't you returned my phone calls?"
DJ: "Because I'm mad at you!"
Lisa: "What? Why are you mad at me?"
DJ: "Because you stole my boyfriend in 2002."
Lisa: "No I didn't."
DJ: "Yes You Did!"
Lisa: "Which boyfriend did I steal?"
DJ: "Craig!"
Lisa: "Who the fuck is Craig?"
DJ: "..."
Lisa: "[...]"
DJ: "Nevermind. I'm still mad at you tho."

Most long term conflicts can be resolved when we just talk to each other. However, when attempting to resolve a conflict that's been ailing us for 10 years, we'll try to create a reason to still be know, to justify the anger we held on to for the last 10 years that resulted in our acne, ulcers, high blood pressure, missed opportunities, hair loss, and unwanted pregnancies. In this example, Lisa simply wanted to get in contact with an old friend, DJ. However, DJ has clearly been holding on to anger unnecessarily.
DJ could very easily overcome the hurt and allow Lisa to reconnect with her if she considers the following strategies, picks one (or more) and follows through completely:

1. Recognize that what's for you is for you and what's not is not. If it's not for you, you'll never have it. If it's for you, you won't be able to get rid of it. Accept that you can't have some things, let go, and move in the direction of what is for you. I doubt that DJ would have been happy if she stayed with Craig. Craig was clearly a punk bitch. However, DJ may have been married and stationed in Paris, but on tour with her dance company "The Amaradas" if she had simply allowed Donovan to take her out on a date.

2. Accept responsibility for your own outcomes. If DJ had accepted the responsibility for the part she played in the relationship between herself and Craig, she wouldn't be so quick to give a shit what Craig and Lisa did...if anything happened. Chances are, DJ's low self-esteem and/or history of manipulation, abuse etc. contributed to the reason that she was attracted to a punk bitch like Craig. Instead of blaming Lisa, who only wanted friendship, DJ may consider seeking counseling or finding a higher power to meditate on. Ultimately, DJ will discover that the higher power lies within her and was there the whole time.

3. Just say fuck it. If things don't pan out the way you want, fuck it. There are many more opportunities in the world...which is very, very big if DJ opens her eyes to see. There are probably many guys who wanted to date DJ besides Craig and Donovan, but whenever they would try to talk to her, they had to deal with DJ's hurt feelings, which, as Donovan would tell you, are a huge turnoff.

4. Be the change you want to see. If DJ still wants to be in contact with Craig, Lisa, Donovan, or anybody else, DJ can do so while being the wonderful example of love, acceptance, integrity, honesty, and friendship that she expects from those people. Then, people from all over the world will be attracted to DJ's incredible energy and she won't be able to keep track of the marriage proposals and friend requests.

I know this is true because I have been Lisa, DJ, Craig and Donovan at some point in my life.


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