Tuesday, December 16, 2014


"Different" people exist through the world, being who they are for no particular reason, getting pointed out for various reasons by people who are struggling to come to conclusions about their own life experiences. Different people are shamed for not admitting that they are different, as though they are expected to see themselves from the perspective of someone else's insecurities. "Allies" think that by calling themselves "allies" they're doing "different" people a favor, not recognizing that "different" people are only a "problem" because the "normal" majority insists that "different" means "wrong". What if the "different" person wasn't trying to fight the "normal" people? What if the "different" person wasn't on another "side"? What if this person was just eating breakfast? What if the "ally" simply said "I'm different too?" Then, we could all be different and unique and live life every day watching the sun come up and go down while eating good food, dancing, singing, and loving each other. And when we live in this kind of love, we can see clearly what's really going on:

Bullies want everyone and everything to cater to them and their worldview in order to feel a sense of control over their own lives. People become bullies for all kinds of reasons. Some were abused or violated early in life. Some were indoctrinated. Some grew up in a homogenous environment with no understanding of diversity. Regardless of the bully's history, the ultimate goal is control. When that sense of control is violated, the bully attacks. If there is no one to attack, the bully self destructs.

I was an abused person who aimed to gain control of everything around me in order to prevent anyone from violating me. With the help of loving friends, I quickly discovered that this only hurts other people. I didn't want to be a bully, so I began the process of learning to set boundaries, make choices that result in the type of life I want to see, and take control of my own destiny. Today, I strive for enlightenment within myself. It is an uncomfortable process, marred with failure and embarrassment. But with each awkward failure, I become more comfortable with awkward failure. To be comfortable with awkward failure is to be free to make mistakes while others are watching. This is true freedom and liberation from oppressive cycles.

 I found a way out of the bully cycle. It starts by looking inward long enough to recognize that life has nothing to do with what I think. Furthermore, no one else's life or lifestyle has anything to do with me. I have to create and intentionally live the life that I want and if I don't, I'm the only one responsible for my misery. It's ok to be wrong. If I discover that I am wrong, I will not die. I will live to be wrong tomorrow. We are all different. We are all unique. We all live differently, wake up at different times, work different jobs, eat different foods, wear different clothes, have different friends, seek different help meets, have different parents, grow up in different households with different sibling dynamics, have different health concerns, grow hair in different places with different textures and colors, come in different sizes, have different shapes, have different skin tones and textures, and respond to different strokes. There's no such thing as "allies" when we're not fighting a war against bullies. Because bullies are not a real threat. They're just afraid of their differences.

Love, Blue

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