Monday, September 22, 2014

Im BACK! This time, with Ray Rice Commentary

I have read a lot about Ray Rice and the tape and even saw the footage on CNN. I have come to conclusions.
Here's my list of opinions by philosophy.

The Taoist response:
Abusers attract abusees. Then, nature takes its course.

The Realist response:
Some men have money and like to fight. Some women value money more than they value their long term face.

The Christian response:
All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

The Muslim response:
If you want to keep your job, beat your woman at home like you got some sense.

The Confucian response:
Confucius say: "If you want to keep your job, beat your woman at home like you got some sense."

Buddhist response:
Steroids are some fcked up drugs nam myoho renge kyo.

Hindu response:
We are born, shit happens, we die, then we're born again.

Evolutionist response:
Basketball players cheat. Football players beat. The difference is genetic.

Creationist response:
They were made for each other.

Feminist response:
Men ain't shit.

Black Revolutionary response:
It's whitey's fault.

Young adult response:
Men shouldn't hit women.

Middle adult response:
The only reason he got fired was because there was a tape.

Older adult response:
He'd better sleep with one eye open.


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