My Lesson: Keep Dreaming.

Writer Teddi B Poet wrote:

"Is your life on the path you want/expect?"

Some responded "yes". Some responded "no". Still others responded "not sure."

As I pondered my response, I thought my expectations for myself have always just been...well, mediocre. I never expected to be more than the best I ever identified possible. Like, I expected that if I went through school and did well, I would become a doctor. But I didn't exactly have any expectations beyond that. I would just go into a university and publish and get tenure and teach some classes to some students who gave fewer and fewer shits every year about actually learning and more and more shits every year about getting good grades so that they could land a high paying job purely based on merit that will enable them to be good enough on paper to attract the most beautiful man/woman to make their counterparts just envious enough that it validates their life choices.

So that's what I expected. However, I am so schizophrenically elated that my life outcomes are not limited to my expectations.

For what it's worth, I think that if we have a goal...any goal...it'll take us somewhere interesting. Where we end up is irrelevant. But if we intend to go somewhere, we'll go somewhere. The higher our expectations, the more likely that "somewhere" will be somewhere more awesome than sucky. However, if we have no goals at all, we end up in Suckballsville. That's what kinda happened to our culture. In the words of astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson*, "we stopped dreaming." When we stopped dreaming, we stopped making goals. Then, we kinda fell into Suckballsville.

So to answer Teddi's question, "Yes" and "No". I can say that I'm definitely somewhere I want to be with a lot of hope to go more places. However, my life is not turning out at all the way I expected:

I am not a disgruntled professor at some endowed university full of succubines. I am, instead, a disgruntled artist who lives in trees with cats exploring the excitingly unpredictable world of lesbianism, music publishing, and subversive microblogging.

But I've always been a dreamer...so I'll keep dreaming. Whether I end up on the moon or in some sewer in the downtown district of Suckballsville, it'll be a story to blog about...subversively.

Love,

Blue






*note: I don't necessarily subscribe to Tyson's worldview, but he has a lot of thought provoking things to say.