On Paula Deen and the "N" Word.

Brief History Lesson on the word "Nigger" by Blue

Did you know that Paula Deen created the word nigger?

Paula Deen went to Africa and bought the first black man who was ever a slave and beat him and called him "nigger" from the Ivory Coast, across the Atlantic Ocean, and all the way to Plymouth Rock. Then, Paula Deen left Plymouth Rock because she didn't want them Plymouth Rock honkies trying to sleep with her slave. So she put her slave in her horse drawn carriage and took him to Savannah Georgia where she discovered pig fat and milk and showed her generosity to the locals by feeding them itis-inducing food and then allowing them to sleep in her freshly cured smallpox blankets. Along with her discovery of pig fat and cow's milk, she also discovered that Nigger (the name she gave her slave because it was just easier to use one name) enjoyed the leftovers, specifically the pig intestines that he gingerly referred to as "chitterlings."

Paula Deen mothered 45 mulatto children with Nigger and fed them all fat and chitterlings. The mulatto children later migrated to Atlanta Georgia where they discovered reality television and now, they make tons of money off of the idle minds of middle America.

If you are one of the many white people who feel persecuted by this New World View of the "N" word, constantly having to adjust your frame of reference for yuppies and uppity black folks who just don't get it, do we have a solution for you! It's The Niggerette Patch. It filters just enough nigger into your system to prevent you from having to blurt it out in mixed company and therefore rendering yourself "politically incorrect". Because God forbid you be politically incorrect. Learn more about The Niggerette Patch in this skit from The Daily Show. Also, keep an eye out for Niggerette Gum. It does the same thing, only it also leaves your breath nigger fresh!*

You're welcome. 

Love,

Blue

*All opinions, thoughts, writings, musings, videos, etc. are the property of and expressions of Blue (Bluefolktronica) and do not reflect anybody else's views. If you have a problem with the things I write, contact oprah@oprah.com. She might give a shit.